Self

This blog is the self talking to self. Things I don't want to hear from people. Things I don't want people hear. Things I've lived with for ages. Still with love, tough love. Love that I can't share to anyone else. It's self-loving.

Many nights with same line: "Self, why are you awake again?"
Wandering in silence, timeless until sunlight spot the corner of the room.
And another same line: "Uh oh, awake again."

Self gets weakened. Much more weaker. Adding up of ages and experiences in life. Self's getting weakened. And I don't have time to rest, heal, recover.

If you were not me, you would never know how much it could hurt.

Give me more hobbies, more works, more pressure!
That's another side of me speaking.

It's forcing me to be strong. Growing up and getting stronger. Despite how painful and unfair life can be . It weakens me more.

And if you were not me, you would never know how tiring it could be to put on a smile.

One can say, properly I'm a type of no stress in life. How adorable to say such a thing about someone you don't even know. I wish I don't know what stress it as well. Still, everyone is the same, has to deal with their own life.

Self, I still love you, you know.
I have to schedule meals evenly for a day. I have to note, drink more water, drink more milk, no stay up late, exercise . Have to support the optimistic me to brighten this dark corner of me.

Everything is too emotional.
It happens when I love me less than I love him.

Make me more selfish.
That's the only cure..