After some months in relationship, here are the results:
1. Lost 5kgs.
2. Sleepless.
3. Cry more often.
4. Didn't have time hanging out with friends.
5. Cellphone bill up and up and up.
6. No more photography, no more books, no more movies.
7. Self-confidence: 0
8. Look at me, I look like deadmeat every time.
9. Study is not so good.
10. Work is even worse.
11. Heart has more cracks now.
It's just not right.
2010/03/31
2010/03/28
Message history for D
| 12/3/2009 | 8:40:00 PM | D | Van | always feel good when u talk to me |
| 12/3/2009 | 8:58:00 PM | D | Van | everytime u dc is my punishment already |
| 12/3/2009 | 8:59:57 PM | D | Van | if ur laptop breaks i dont know what to do |
| 12/3/2009 | 9:08:00 PM | D | Van | originally i like to call u bee cuz short for baby :P | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 9:08:08 PM | D | Van | babeeeeeee |
| 12/3/2009 | 9:09:27 PM | D | Van | baby is my baby someone i want to take care of |
| 12/3/2009 | 9:19:11 PM | Van | D | because that time | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 9:19:26 PM | Van | D | u told me u didnt believe in relationship on internet | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 9:19:34 PM | Van | D | and u didnt want to be with anyone | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 9:19:45 PM | Van | D | so ... | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 9:20:06 PM | D | Van | it's true i still cant believe i like you so much | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 9:20:10 PM | Van | D | ... | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 9:20:12 PM | Van | D | >.> | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 9:20:16 PM | Van | D | then dont believe | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 9:20:25 PM | D | Van | i mean not dont believe | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 9:20:34 PM | D | Van | i mean more like shocked | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 9:20:39 PM | Van | D | = = | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 9:20:52 PM | D | Van | because i think of u everyday often and already want to visit u |
| 12/3/2009 | 9:29:08 PM | D | Van | does ur feelings tell u how much i think of u? |
| 12/3/2009 | 10:00:46 PM | D | Van | beee i always wondered what kind of bf u like | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:00:49 PM | Van | D | =p | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:00:52 PM | Van | D | secrettt | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:01:00 PM | D | Van | nooooooo | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:01:04 PM | Van | D | =p | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:01:12 PM | Van | D | then what kind of gf u like? | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:01:21 PM | Van | D | if u tell me then i will tell u | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:01:22 PM | D | Van | i can tell u lots | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:01:22 PM | Van | D | keke | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:01:55 PM | D | Van | hmm understanding, and caring | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:02:08 PM | Van | D | and? | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:02:23 PM | D | Van | and likes to spend time with me | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:02:23 PM | D | Van | but when i have to work she wont be mad | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:02:36 PM | D | Van | um the personality wise is pretty close to you | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:02:46 PM | Van | D | really? | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:03:02 PM | D | Van | you can be mature when needed but when we relax it's okay to be young and have fun | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:03:37 PM | Van | D | i told u what kind of bf i wanted long time ago | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:03:40 PM | D | Van | i am pretty immature myself when i'm not working | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:03:40 PM | D | Van | i still play video games ^^; |
| 12/3/2009 | 10:18:42 PM | D | Van | you have lots of fun hobbies | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:18:53 PM | Van | D | like what? | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:18:53 PM | D | Van | if i was there i would go take pictures with u | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:18:58 PM | Van | D | oh | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:18:59 PM | Van | D | :D | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:19:01 PM | Van | D | ^.^ | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:19:06 PM | D | Van | watching movies always fun | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:19:09 PM | Van | D | ^.^ | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:19:22 PM | D | Van | and u like to play swords kekeke | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:19:30 PM | Van | D | no longer muh ><"" | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:19:59 PM | D | Van | i can even imagine myself reading with u |
| 12/3/2009 | 10:36:40 PM | D | Van | he put the spaces in kiss? | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:36:42 PM | Van | D | no | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:36:45 PM | Van | D | i put | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:36:51 PM | D | Van | lol | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:36:54 PM | D | Van | beeeeeeeeeee | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:36:58 PM | D | Van | so funny | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:37:01 PM | Van | D | = = | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:37:03 PM | Van | D | not funny | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:37:07 PM | Van | D | i dont like those jokes | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:37:24 PM | D | Van | that's something i like about you too | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:37:30 PM | Van | D | huh? | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:37:37 PM | D | Van | how you write the words yiou dont like | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:37:38 PM | D | Van | it's cute |
| 12/3/2009 | 10:41:22 PM | D | Van | nooooooo no ; ; face before i sleep |
| 12/3/2009 | 10:41:42 PM | D | Van | happy face please :) | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:41:48 PM | Van | D | nuuu | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:42:02 PM | D | Van | i love your smile you know that |
| 12/3/2009 | 10:43:17 PM | D | Van | i need to get the mic tomorrow | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:43:21 PM | Van | D | =p | ||||
| 12/3/2009 | 10:43:22 PM | D | Van | so i can talk to you before bed |
| 12/6/2009 | 9:40:56 AM | D | Van | i like to see what you are feeling | ||||
| 12/6/2009 | 9:41:00 AM | Van | D | ; ; | ||||
| 12/6/2009 | 9:41:06 AM | D | Van | because you wont tell me directly most of the time |
End of stories.
I decided to take a break from the relationship, just within one second after hanging up my phone. No point to carry on when trust doesn't exist and my partner hasn't tried to make it up for me.
It was a very short conversation as usual, lasted in 1 minute. Three magical words don't always work, especially when you say them out as a habit only.
No need to explain. No need to announce, "Honey, I've leaving you."
You just can't make your girl worried and cry all the time.
I've been trying so hard to make it better for us. And for all the time, I'm at home alone, no idea where you've gone, what you've done and when you will be home. For all the time, I'm at home, trying to fill in time and this empty space with work, study and this blog. I have to laugh at myself all the time. I don't want to admit all good moments have been in memory already. R.I.P
What's the point of crying and hurting myself? What's the point of trying?You just admitted that you wouldn't have time to talk to me.
Tell me, are you worth of all my trying?
This should be fine for me, another day without you.
It was a very short conversation as usual, lasted in 1 minute. Three magical words don't always work, especially when you say them out as a habit only.
No need to explain. No need to announce, "Honey, I've leaving you."
You just can't make your girl worried and cry all the time.
I've been trying so hard to make it better for us. And for all the time, I'm at home alone, no idea where you've gone, what you've done and when you will be home. For all the time, I'm at home, trying to fill in time and this empty space with work, study and this blog. I have to laugh at myself all the time. I don't want to admit all good moments have been in memory already. R.I.P
What's the point of crying and hurting myself? What's the point of trying?You just admitted that you wouldn't have time to talk to me.
Tell me, are you worth of all my trying?
This should be fine for me, another day without you.
2010/03/22
Memories Of A Beautiful Memory
I was reading your old mails to me and I found a poem you wrote for me. That was sweet and that was long time ago. That's what I should memorize.
I was checking back all of your messages to me and I found one saying you would come and would take me away from my glooming days. That's what I should memorize.
All the songs you'd sent to me, all your pictures and all the time we'd laughed together, I remember all. Those memories have keep my faith through time and distance we've separated.
Why am I wanting to cry...
I was checking back all of your messages to me and I found one saying you would come and would take me away from my glooming days. That's what I should memorize.
All the songs you'd sent to me, all your pictures and all the time we'd laughed together, I remember all. Those memories have keep my faith through time and distance we've separated.
Why am I wanting to cry...
2010/03/08
Love will always win
After days sunk in the dark, finally the light touches my skin.
Finally, there's a chance for me to prove how much I've loved you. I'm glad I can grab such an opportunity like this. Honey, now I can be more closer to you than ever. Now I can say, if we want it, we have to go through it. I've worked hard for this moment. A moment that you can see me and be proud of me.
I've been somehow distant to you but it is a necessary to keep us together. I need enough certain space for you to miss me and to appreciate every moment of us. I need to stop tears falling down and to bring smiles on the faces. That's how we used to be; and that's how we will always be.
Honey, 2 more months, and I will be happy to shout to the world, "You're my only honey."
Finally, there's a chance for me to prove how much I've loved you. I'm glad I can grab such an opportunity like this. Honey, now I can be more closer to you than ever. Now I can say, if we want it, we have to go through it. I've worked hard for this moment. A moment that you can see me and be proud of me.
I've been somehow distant to you but it is a necessary to keep us together. I need enough certain space for you to miss me and to appreciate every moment of us. I need to stop tears falling down and to bring smiles on the faces. That's how we used to be; and that's how we will always be.
Honey, 2 more months, and I will be happy to shout to the world, "You're my only honey."
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