30 years old with uncountable crushes, some officially became lovers, some unofficially just short-term crushes. Still, the view of love is the same. Simple in stupid way.
That's how I keep hurting myself many times.
Until this time then I finally think about it carefully and decide not to take it too serious. Simply let it go and spend more time to take care of myself.
30 years old. I need the certain look to lure any guy into the trap. I need to behave well as a lady to pursue any guy I am worth to be with him. I need to dress up a bit to make any guy feel proud of walking beside me. I need to prove to them all, I deserve a better life with same 'level' husband.
Love is not about me feeling good that much. It is about me, and that guy feeling right about each other so we can bare and accept faults of each other.
I think carefully this time. And I need to put it in action. If one doesn't care about me, I shouldn't waste time to care of him.
Since we can't beg for love, we shouldn't hope someone will bring it to us freely and unconditionally. It is a bargain of two whether you are worthy or not.
Thinking of it this way, I feel more comfortable when I suddenly remember of him.
Working, studying. All happens with luck.
Why not with loving also?
If I'm lucky enough, this year, there will be a guy who loves me enough to marry me.
If not, then take it as working. Working harder on it with all means.
winky~
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